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Autumn 2014 Photo by Deb Jackson |
A New Chapter
There are some words I hear and they always stay with me. These words for instance:
"You can either feel sorry for yourself of treat it as a challenge, an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing... You choose."
I recall every word in my head. I reply, to myself "Yes, it IS my choice". I have always wanted to live rightly and thus, I choose to do so. Never mind what happened and regardless of any pain. The pain I feel now will be indeed my strength tomorrow. I will learn from the past, I will learn from "this" experience I am going through and I will continue to work hard for the future that I so deserve.
I do believe there is reason in everything that happen to us. We are yes left in this world, helpless. But it is not about achieving anything. It is about the "struggle". The struggle leads to progress. This is the fact about life that people seem to overlook. In recognizing my life struggle, I grow. I refuse to be blinded by obstacles in my path that hide from me the sources of strength within me. My eyes are open and even though I may seem distracted at times, my life is clear to me. I am here for a reason. It is not to achieve a goal, and it is not to reach a target. It is to "be", to "live" to "experience" and to "struggle" in order to grow.
I refuse to be chained down by tradition, although I respect it. I refuse my mind to be clouded by trivialities of life and people's chatter. The essence of life is to become who you want to be, unchained, unburdened by anything and by anyone. The concept of love to me now has changed. With the change in my life situation, the concept carries now different meanings. But this cannot burden me. This can only drive me forward to realize my mistakes, my shortages and weaknesses.
I am not a victim, I am not a fighter. I am a survivor.
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The only place my dreams can become impossible is in my own thinking | . | | Photo by Deb Jackson |
My thoughts are my weapon. Resilience and perseverance are the most important tools in life. This is what I learned over the years. It is in my recognition of the means to cope with my problems and the ways I can manage my weaknesses to bring about my strengths. A man who does not see this and admire it in a woman, is not a man worth sharing the struggle with. Life is not easy. The journey is full of obstacles and it is naive to believe it is otherwise. The fault that I carry on my shoulder today, the pain that I feel in my heart, will be dissolve with past memories and wrong choices. The consequences of my past actions which I endure today will empower me to carry on and will lead me to a new chapter of my life. The exciting journey ahead will not be tarnished by those who do not deserve to be part of it. I believe a stronger force have finally saw it is time to give me a helping hand. It unclouded my eyes and will gradually show me how to relieve my pains. My strength is not a weakness. My strength is not "the problem". My strength is who I am. I embrace this and my weaknesses are also my strength...