Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. One always dies too soon or too late. And yet, life is there, finished. The line is drawn, and it must all be added up. You are nothing other than your life. There is only one day left, always starting over. It is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk. We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are, that is the fact. When you live alone you no longer know what it is to tell a story: the plausible disappears at the same time as the friends. You let events flow by too.Suddenly you see people appear who speak and then go away; you plunge into stories of which you can't make head or tail. You'd make a terrible witness. It is true that people who live in society have learned how to see themselves in mirrors as they appear to their friends. Luckily, I only have a few...

Dr Shaw is a lecturer in Further Education at Edge Hill University, Ormskirk. She also offers philosophy courses at the School of Continuing Education, Lifelong learning, at the University of Liverpool. In 2015, she has completed her Doctorate in philosophy with a focus on existentialism, the equilibrium doctrine and narrative. She has worked as a teacher of English and Comparative literature and Philosophy at The American University in Cairo, Egypt where she also obtained her BA (Hons). Dr Shaw has an MA in Philosophy and Literature from the University of East Anglia where she also taught on a number of humanities subjects. Whilst working in North Wales in Further education, she gained a PGCE aimed at teaching in FE and HE sectors. Dr Shaw moved to Liverpool in 2010 where she now resides.

Interests: Existentialism, Narrative, Comparative Literature, Feminist Thought, Public Speaking, Arab Existentialism, Philosophy of Education, Art, Music, Film and Theatre, Greek Mythology, Existential counsellor and psychotherapist.


Sunday, 29 March 2015

The Sturggle of Relationships

In our modern age, a relationship has a different look than what it used to be in the olden days. There seem to be more demand for reassurances than before and certainly more pressure on both parties to continue happily together. I have to say I don't regret having been married 7 years and now single. The 7 years taught me a lot about the level of dedication that is required for a relationship to last. It also taught me that one party alone can not keep the boat floating for long and that if one jumps off the boat, the other has to be prepared to go alone regardless of all odds. I learnt a lot about myself and I probably chose very wrong from the start; a man who saw very little in me. To meet a man now who would appreciate me and love what he sees  is exciting and something I am certainly looking forward to. Fact, my son needs a father and I need a man. This makes 2 men required, seeing that it's doubtful one man will be sufficient to carry out both roles. I am regardless hopeful and certainly positive about a future that has many unknowns. They don't phase me or worry me. I can only look forward because I am uninterested in the past. It took me a while and a lot of hard work. Every day was a struggle but was worth going through. From now on, I think my understanding of a relationship has become clearer; we must want the same things and be on the same boat.

Since being single, every man I met to date added something exciting to my life; an assertion of what I need and what I am looking for. If it's not you, I apologies truly. The search for the mysterious "other" fills me with excitement and keeps me on my feet. I can only hope that I would never be in a position where my principles are tested and I have to make a tough decision. I am an ethical being who will not accept on my consciousness a wrong doing. I will not hurt another woman no matter what. I will always put myself in the other's shoes and I certainly can never be "the other" woman. When the woman my X had an affair with emailed me to say she tried to end their affair on many occasions, I replied with two things: 1. He was not yours to have and 2. Thank you for giving me a chance to kick his a** out seeing I've had enough of his failures in every aspect of our life and relation. These are my principles that I will live by in relations. They are key in modern relations; never take another's man, never cheat and certainly never lie. Marriage is just a piece of paper, I agree, but the vows mean nothing if they were not truly meant. The rules of any relation are crystal clear, love, struggle, continue together wanting the same goals and build your dreams together. I am not sad this happen to me. In fact I am relieved that I am unburdened now and set free to be who I want to be and to make the best life for the person who truly deserves it; my son. If a man comes along, he'll have to convince me that there IS really room for him in my life and that his contribution to both ourselves is vital.

Mysterious Mr right, a note from myself and from my 3 years old son to you....

From me, first: I need a man who cares about me, who is willing to fight the world together side by side no matter how hard and how difficult it gets. I need a man who raise me up and never put me down. I need a man who looks at me with love and sees the woman I am and admire. I need a man who is faithful to me as I am faithful to him and who knows that good things happen to those who work hard and have ambition. I want a man who appreciate my upbringing and my principles and who share my philosophy in life, we live once, we make our own destiny and with our freedom comes great responsibility.

And from my son: I need a father who teaches me good principles in life and be a role model for me to look up to and admire. I need a father I can see loving my mother and dedicated to us as a family. I need a father who is caring and loving and puts us before his own needs. I need a father who looks after me and her in every way a man could and makes us feel safe and happy. I need a father most of all to teach me how to be a great man because my biological father failed to see how important these things would be to me....

Yours, me and mum x

We loook forward to meeting you and having you in our lives

1 comment:

  1. Dear Sheizo, it was heart-warming to read your words. I am so pleased that you are free of a man who did not appreciate or deserve you or your son. I do hope you will find a good man, one who is honest and principled who will love and cherish you and who can see the goodness within you and appreciate you for the beautiful person you are. One who will also love your son, will be there to guide him and support him through his life.
    xoxoxo ♡